Fri 15 Jan 2010
Last night I dreamed…
Posted by Betsi under Uncategorized
[4] Comments
Click the image to view the full spread on Flickr. WARNING: Mom, Sis, and other close friends – please read this post before clicking through to the full journal page, so you’re aware of the content.
It’s been an interesting day. Last night, I only got about five or six hours of sleep, thanks to the wonders of modern technology (mainly in the form of Twitter and Peggle on my iPhone). The day has largely flown past me in a sleep dep’ed timewarp of poking the internet and groggily eating my cereal. I did find a little time to do some art; finishing a journal spread I painted last week and added backgroundy bits to last night. It was hands-down the strangest journaling experience I’ve had to date.
You see, last night I dreamed about my father. He passed away on 11/25/09, after a couple of very unexpected weeks in the hospital. Two months later, and I am still in shock. I haven’t been able to journal about it until now, but I’ve known it was coming. Today, with shreds of my dream clinging to my psyche like cobwebs, the need to journal about it hit me like a ton of bricks. I’d read about healing through art journals before, and have certainly been doing so on subtler levels for months now, but never before have I experienced the radical and raw feeling of switching back and forth from grief-stricken tears to the joy of an “Aha Moment”. Over and over, I sobbed, wiped my tears away, added a bit more, and then knew the additions I’d made were perfect because they set me to crying again. Agonizing and joyous at the same time.
I was hesitant to even share all of this, as it is so raw and personal. But art is meant to be shared, especially when it teaches. And I wanted – no, needed – to share with the world my experience of how ART HEALS. It’s a truth many artists have found, but it’s one that finds us over and over again. In the past few weeks, I’ve been reading Elkemay’s blog with interest and admiration. She recently lost her own father, and her bravery to create art about her loss and share it with the world has been an inspiration and a comfort to me. More so than I can truly express. It is my sincere hope that I can share a fraction of that with others by sharing my own experience and artwork.
Peace be with you today. ♥


Betsi~
this blog post is so incredibly moving…..thank you so much for sharing your feelings, your fears, your loss….an “agonizing and joyous experience” indeed. I know that place so well. And the “need” the consuming need to get it out on paper and feel it. I think it is paramount to healing. I am so honored, and so deeply moved to have been an inspiration to you. Thank you. This means so much to me.
I am so sorry for your loss…..
Big hugs to you!
Elke
Betsi, I admire your courage at facing a page and creating art in this period of intense emotion. May this artwork help you through these days. Art helps us get from minute to minute, then hour to hour. ~ Tammy
I am very sorry for your loss. thank you for sharing this. you are right – art can transform our pain and grief into something else and help the healing. <3
Betsi, I’m so very and truly deeply sorry for your loss. I hope that you can find some healing and comfort in your memories, family and in your art journals.
XO.